Election Downer

As I sit here tonight listening to the election results, it brings back the memory of watching many years ago when Clinton beat Bush and that down feeling -- kind of like what we've come to feel at Auburn this year with all of our losses. It's just not our year.

So, as always the optimist, I'm thinking what's good about this election . . .

1. It's kind of a relief. Now I won't have to listen to all those celebrities and news people blame everything on Republicans. TV might be kind of boring now -- they can't make fun of the person they idolize.
2. I'll get my tax cut since I don't make $250,000 a year -- or even $200,000 -- or even $150,000. What was that number again?
3. We won't have to watch McCain talk for four years.
4. Sara Palin can go back to Alaska and live her life in peace -- she's been put through the wringer throughout this election. She's been a breath of fresh air and frankness -- I hope we haven't seen the last of her on a national level. (Although she's going to have to give all those clothes back now.)
5. Ever since my Girl Scout days around the campfire, I've loved the song "Kumbaya." I'll get to sing it often now since it's going to be our country's new way of dealing with terrorists and all those countries that hate us but love our money. Maybe I should get the old guitar down out of the attic!
6. Global warming will be stopped and we can save the polar bears! Look out God, Al Gore's after your job next.
7. This was a record year for voting numbers -- and that's a good thing. Everyone should exercise their privilege to vote and not become apathetic. Whether they agree with my political view or not -- that's what democracy is about.

I also need to get to work on my New Year resolutions for 2009 with all the political changes coming up . . .

1. Assess what medical procedures I'm going to need for the next ten years and go ahead and get on the waiting list in anticipation of socialized medicine.
2. Tweak the resume for when Obama bankrupts the coal industry and I won't have a job.
3. Sign up for the "spread the wealth" program for when I lose my job.
4. Get a windmill for the farm for when the country runs out of electricity from "going green."
5. Plow up the plot for a garden for when all agriculture is forced out of our country for the environmentalists.